Transcript (unofficial) of today's phone call:
Peter: Hello? Andrea Cameron?
Andrea: Oh great, a telemarketer. Yes...
Peter: Hi, this is Peter ______ from the annual ______ Literary Contest.
Andrea: Hi. Why is he calling? Am I shortlisted? Did I win? Oh, I must have won. Of course!
Peter: I'm calling regarding your submission.
Andrea: Oh... I'm shortlisted! I knew it! I'm a literary genius and now the world will know! I will become part of the canon of Canadian literature alongside Alice Munro, Timothy Findley, and Margaret Atwood. Yes, my name would look lovely in that list.
Peter: Well, actually, it's about your payment. Oh no, I think she thinks I'm calling to tell her some good news.
Andrea: Is something wrong? Oops. Maybe I'm not a genius.
Peter: Actually, your cheque was returned to us...This is so awkward.
Andrea: That's strange. Insufficient funds? Identity theft? A joke?
Peter: You dated it 2010. Loser.
Andrea: I see. Can I still send another? I am such a loser.
I was having such a good hair day. I should have known it would end like this.